Hand it Over

I have decided tonight to completely ignore the load of whites in the dryer that need to be folded and the sink full of dishes leftover from dinner that need to be washed, because I need therapy. This whole blogging thing really is therapeutic and actually a little addictive.
This great need for therapy stems from last Tuesday morning. Out of the blue, I woke up with Bells Palsy. Sunday, a week ago, I had began experiencing a really bad earache never ceasing through Monday night. When I woke up on Tuesday morning I got straight into a shower as usual, and noticed that my right eye felt really weird. I got out and looked in the mirror and discovered that the right side of my face wouldn't move. I couldn't smile normally or blink my right eye. Naturally I go into freak out mode - thinking I have had a stroke or my ear infection is blocking a vein or something to my face that's going to make my whole face stop moving.
After a quick trip to Urgent Care I discovered that my diagnosis was in fact, Bells Palsy.
Bells Palsy Info.
It's actually quite common, little did I know.
The doctor put me on a steroid, Prednisone and an antibiotic, Acyclovir. And told me that MOST people return back to normal with complete facial function after 10 to 14 days.
Through this whole week I have been at war with myself.
When will this go away? What if it doesn't go back to normal? Why has God put me through this? Did I do something to deserve this? Am I not thankful enough for my health?
This week is my last week at work. Wednesday will be my last day, and all I can think of is how much I hate seeing these people who I won't see for a while- the way I am now. When I smile, I look like Elvis. I can only imagine the things going through their minds when they look at me. "Why did she make that face? Did I offend her? What's wrong with her?"
It's all very very frustrating.
After our sermon at church this morning and then talking it over with Chris this afternoon, I've really come to terms with this disease. Why would God put me through this? - because - he wants to be glorified in my healing. No one deserves the things that happen to them - they all happen for a reason. I know that everything we go through makes us stronger.
For now I have not seen a whole lot of improvement from Tuesday. I am able to close my right eye, not completely but almost. I still lack the ability to smile, taste things with the right side of my tongue, sip out of a straw normally, rub my lips together with chapstick, etc. Little things that I just took for granted - I now long to have back.
But God has a greater purpose than I can realize right now, and that is that. For now - I hang in there, have faith and give it to God. Because HE heals!!